“There are three constants in life… change, choice, and principles.”
I recently attended a speaking engagement to hear Jack Canfield, co-author of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, talk about his book “The Success Principles”. This book is now in its 10th edition printing. It has sold in 108 countries in 30 languages.
As a self-help junkie I snapped up the book and added it to my ever-expanding library. The book outlines many of the same principles you will find in those of Stephen Covey, Wayne Dyer, Napoleon Hill, Abraham-Hicks, Joe Vitale, and hundreds of others who share similar philosophies and principles.
The first step to creating success is to give up the blaming and the complaining. You need to take 100% responsibility for everything in your life. In other words, “Own your shit”!
And not just the failures but your successes too.
“A simple formula outlined by therapist, Dr. Robert Resnick diagramed it this way”:
E + R = O Event + Response = Outcome
“If you don’t like the outcome you’re getting, you have 2 choices”
- You can blame the event or external circumstances: your parents, kids, boss, lack of money, the government. We can posses internal limiting beliefs, self-destructive habits, and defeating behavior that contributes to the unwanted outcome. We can ignore feedback, fail to learn and grow, waste time, avoid conflict, or live in denial.
- You can change your responses to the event. This is done by changing your thinking, beliefs, your image of self and the world, and developing awareness about your habits and conditioned responses.
“Everything you think, say, and do should be aligned with your purpose, values, and goals”.
“Your only control in life is the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take. How you use these 3 things determines everything you experience”.
Blaming and Complaining
You will never be successful if you blame others for your lack of success.
You must acknowledge the truth and own it.
Instead of blaming others, own your actions:
- You are the one who ate that cake
- You are the one didn’t say no or said yes
- You are the one who took the job or quit it
- You are the one who bought that thing you couldn’t afford
If you are complaining, then you believe the circumstances you’re complaining about could be better. You can change these… but you choose not to.
Why don’t you change them? Change is hard. It’s easier to complain. You might risk judgment, disappointment, failure, or confrontation. It might take effort, time and money. It is uncomfortable, difficult or confusing.
To make changes in your life you might have to:
- Eat a healthier diet
- Say NO to things
- Quit or change jobs
- Ask for help
- Go back to school
- Leave the relationship
To be successful and own your power you need to take full responsibility and realize that you create or allow everything that happens to you by either your actions or in-actions.
It takes awareness, willingness, and discipline to make this shift.
Slow down, pay attention, get help, ask for feedback, and then ask yourself:
- What am I doing that’s working?
- What am I doing that’s not working?
- What should I do less of? More of?
- Do I talk too much, spend too much, eat too much, or waste too much time?
- Do I need to communicate, delegate, prioritize, or get help?
This is probably one of the most fundamental steps you can take.
Taking full responsibility for your life isn’t easy, but it’s simple.
Free worksheet for principles of success here:
For more information, email me at: Kristi@kristispeiser.com
Material by Jack Canfield: “The Success Principles”
My signed copy!